The yearning for intimacy with another is common to all human beings. But whilst it is a fundamental need, finding the safety for intimacy with another is very often a major challenge.Intimacy with another goes hand-in-hand with intimacy with yourself – with being safe to be your Real Self.
You will see from your reflections that being your Real Self can be dangerous in our homes, schools, communities, workplaces and society.
From the stories that have been shared with us, we are aware that individuals seeking an intimate relationship with a member of the same gender not only experience all the threats that individuals in heterosexual relationships experience but also have to withstand further threats that are peculiar to this particular expression of sexual intimacy. In our society, if you make the choice for opposite-gender relationship you are likely to receive support, encouragement and celebration from others, but for individuals making the choice for same-gender relationship the same loving holding is very often not available. Because heterosexuality is the more common choice it is regarded as the “normal” choice, but safe holding requires that both choices are regarded as “normal”.